B𝑒l𝑜w D𝑒c𝑘 𝑆a𝑖l𝑖n𝑔 𝑌a𝑐h𝑡 𝑅e𝑐a𝑝: S𝑜f𝑎 𝐵l𝑜o𝑑y S𝑜f𝑎

Photo: Bravo

Hemophobics and white couch owners beware: You’ll be triggered the first half of this episode. It’s 11:30 p.m. and Davide’s blood is all over the couch after Gary drunkenly hit him in the face with a lollipop. Danni calls Daisy over, but the chief stew can’t — or maybe more accurately, won’t — deal with it in her own drunken, eerily serene state. They spray some stain remover on it and naïvely hope it’ll come out overnight. Gary blames Davide for the stain, while everyone else blames Gary.

A pariah, Gary calls it a night while everyone else hits the hot tub. They’re ignoring the stain for such fun and wild games as Danni’s “Something you love about me, something you hate about me, go.” Daisy answers honestly: her energy and openness / naïveté and defensiveness. For once, Danni takes criticism okay, but this in no way seems fun. Of course, when it’s Keith’s turn, she’s eager to turn the roast onto him. Diana calls him a bad flirter, and he says to be a good flirter you have to want it. Danni takes offense, interpreting that he didn’t want her. In the corner of the tub, Diana looks absolutely miserable for bringing it up.

At 6 a.m., Daisy wakes up, haunted by the blood stains, which are still there in full force. She tries to get them out, actually rubbing and using heavier-duty supplies this time, but tells Glenn they may need a pro upholstery cleaner. Glenn asks why it wasn’t cleaned immediately, and Daisy implies the honest answer — they were all too drunk to take it seriously. The captain finds this all super disrespectful and wakes everyone up for a meeting: “Everyone up in the f – – -ing saloon.” I’ve never heard Glenn swear as much as he does this episode.

Furious, Glenn reprimands the crew for going to bed with a destroyed couch. He says if they weren’t capable of taking care of the boat, they should’ve woken him up. It feels like they’re a high-school sports team getting in trouble for partying, which is pretty embarrassing for a group of adults. Their day off is canceled. Glenn is (adorably) going on the cave tour alone and leaving them to clean up the boat. The stews get to work on the couch, and it does improve. Daisy regrets not taking it more seriously, but they’re united in being mad at Gary and Davide. Sober, Gary apologizes to everyone. Daisy drops a bar: He’s good at apologizing, not at changing.

Meanwhile, Glenn laps up the cave facts. As he marvels at 100,000-year-old geology: “These guys are really missing out.” His love for caves comes from living in one in Crete, Greece, in the ’80s “for like a month.” Before Glenn can morph into the Grinch, he amiably has a beer with his tour guide. Except for probably Cloyce, the crew would’ve been way more into the beer than the cave.

They may not be that mad about missing spelunking, but Danni’s especially sad about not getting to go to the club Anthony works at. There’s hope the second half of the day off could be re-earned, though. By the time Glenn returns, the couch’s rehab is a miracle. No blood in sight, it looks wet, and maybe a little pink/grayish, but I’m in awe. I have some white shirts I’d love the stews to tackle. Glenn’s still playing hard-ass and deems it not perfect. He does an inspection of the boat, then calls a new all-team meeting to drop the wisdom: “If you can’t handle your alcohol, then f- – -ing don’t drink.” The crew seems to have learned their lesson, or at least put on their most remorseful faces. Glenn specifically calls out Gary; he expects better from a department head. But, we assume the O Beach contracts have been signed and the producers want more content to round out the episode, so they’re allowed to go to the club.

As punishment, the girls give Gary a birthday tiara and pink sash to wear at the club, although this is more like a reward for an attention seeker like himself. People buy birthday girls drinks! Anyway, he’s not even wearing it at the club. There, Daisy and Keith connect further. In an interview, Keith says he’d be punching up, which is quite the sassy callback to him saying Danni was punching up with Anthony. Speaking of, Diana and Danni are on the prowl for hot guys. Diana’s not finding success because she’s an overthinker and relying on Danni as a wingwoman.

Anthony’s technically doing his job as a host by flirting with Danni. I’m not sure what the rules are for him or if this is even a real shift, because the boundaries magically disappear once he takes off his uniform. The two go for a swim in the ocean and kiss. As the saying goes, if I had a nickel for every time Danni made out with a guy in the water, I’d only have two, but it’s kinda weird it happened twice. And the first guy, Gary, isn’t too happy about it. Anthony comes back with Danni to the boat, and Gary winds up in the car with them. He tries to warn Anthony about Danni, which is uncool because he’s the one who called it off with her. Whether intentional or not, Danni mirrors the hook-up with Gary further by jumping over the side of the boat with Anthony. Now I have three nickels.

Downstairs, Daisy goes to bed in her top bunk, and Keith goes to talk to her. Gary interrupts them yet again, but Daisy’s favor is clearly with Keith. She doesn’t want him to leave, and he gets in some awkward petting as he stands below her. Meanwhile, Diana cries in her bed and Glenn watches Predator in his.